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Old 12th December 2006, 16:42   #1 (permalink)
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Male Chauvanist Pigs? You Decide! (submitted by a woman)

Ladies I Know its Difficult but try to UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Guys' Rules-------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.





Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!




1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.



See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,! Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, league, cricket
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -



to give them a bigger laugh
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The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to videotalker For This Useful Post:
IREALLYAMLINDA (28th April 2007), irishmusico (12th December 2006), mac (30th April 2007), Wee Bobby (5th March 2007)
Old 12th December 2006, 17:23   #2 (permalink)
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110%!Thats the way it is.Haven't laughed so much in ages
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Old 12th December 2006, 19:56   #3 (permalink)
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...so true.. so true...
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Old 12th December 2006, 20:07   #4 (permalink)
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Old 12th December 2006, 21:21   #5 (permalink)
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yep !!! like we keep saying - we dont really need men - we just try to make them feel useful by asking questions we know the answer to etc etc etc. We know just how to work men but men have no idea what makes us tick - do they girls??????
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Old 12th December 2006, 22:52   #6 (permalink)
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Made me so laugh - very good
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Old 13th December 2006, 18:28   #7 (permalink)
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Very good. I copied it and sent it on to a number of people I knew would appreciate it. Especially liked the bit about colours. I once worked fo a company that did a range of plastic kitchen goods that I (silly me) described as dark green instead of 'avocardo'. (I am not sure how to spell it even).
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Old 14th December 2006, 10:10   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac
... I (silly me) described as dark green instead of 'avocardo'. (I am not sure how to spell it even).
Almost right... drop the 'r'.

Avocado was big in the 70's for bathrooms, wasn't it? I seem to remember we had that in our bathroom as a kid...
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Old 14th December 2006, 10:13   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djkirstyjay
Avocado was big in the 70's for bathrooms, wasn't it? I seem to remember we had that in our bathroom as a kid...
I remember my Grandma used to have it....it was horrible
Anyway Kirtsy...you couldnt have been around in the 70's...ive met you and you dont look a day older than 25!! What a creep!!
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Old 14th December 2006, 10:27   #10 (permalink)
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Flattery will get you everywhere...

I was born in '73.
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