Now I have only met one person from the Tenerife Forum, yet I have no second thoughts about putting up something personal to (no offence) a complete bunch of strangers anyway I was wondering if anyone could suggest something or has been in a similar situation and could give a bit of advice?
Anyway, I am a complete hopeless idiot when it comes to my love life, recently however, I have been quite taken by someone. She is the best friend of a good friend of mine, I have known her about 18 months but have only been out with her a few times and only twice by ourselves (not dates though).
She has an on/off boyfriend in another city and sees him for a bit of security when things are down, lately though she has been confiding in me. We were out the other weekend and although slightly tipsy not as drunk as we have been on previous outings, we had quite a decent chat and it was a bit of a comforting chat for each other as we were in a bit of state over certain things. I personally thought she was giving signs out that she was interested in me, I have been interested in her for about 8 months and lately it's really gripping me, but I have not really done much about it because of said on/off boyfriend.
She has promised to see me more and told me that she wanted me to be high on her priority list of people to see, but with things going on in her life that hasn't been possible. Now to me this all sounds promising, however, I don't want our relationshi to just be two good comforting friends for each other. I would like it to be more but do not want to lose out on the friendship should she not want to be more. I hate tiptoeing round things but dont like coming across too strong with regards to whether she has made her mind up about the other guy.
How should I go about this? Am I just wanting someone I can't have or does it seem like there is more to it and this is not just an inappropiate crush?
__________________ "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound sexy."
Its clear enough from your post that you want you both to be more than friends... with women's signals who knows what she wants.
If you don't take a chance, you'll never know. You can't stay a good friend & just that by keeping those strong feelings to yourself IMO... it won't lead anywhere (the freindship or the potential relationship).
EDIT: Oh and yes I was in a similar situation. It was definitely a crush I had on a cute science chick back in my uni days. I told her something like I'd like to see more of her, but she was with another guy I think, and said rather plainly yeah but just as friends and nothing more as she was involved with someone and that was the end of that.
Im under the influence of vod as I write this, but hey, it’s the truth. The story about me and my stunning, gorgeous wife Sabrina!!!!
I was 18 when I met her; she was 32, married but separated and had a son 2 years younger than me. She still does!
I first saw her, was instantly smitten and a week later was in love. The first and only time I have ever been in love.
Because of the 15 years age difference and living in a “clickey” Suffolk village, the odds were against us. People put their opinions to us all the time, and more often than not, they were not good opinions. However, as time past, she fell for me, albeit she was trying to deny how she felt for me.
She sooner or later had to admit how she felt for me so we ran away, to France for 6 months. She was scared having to depend on an 18 year old to give her a good life.
Anyway, 17 years on, we have a great little girl, (babytreble99) a great life and are still very much “loved up” and can not imagine life without each other.
The motto to my story is this………………………………..
GO FOR IT, GO FOR IT, GO FOR IT.
If you try and it doesn’t work out then hey, you have tried. If you don’t go with your instincts you will live the rest of your life thinking “what if”.
I know this post is a bit “cheesy” but hey, its what happened to me, and I thank god it did!!!!!!
GO FOR IT, GO FOR IT !!!!!!!!
Do you want to be on your death bed with regrets because you didnt try?. I dont think so!!
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Originally Posted by supernoodle
...lately though she has been confiding in me. We were out the other weekend and although slightly tipsy not as drunk as we have been on previous outings, we had quite a decent chat and it was a bit of a comforting chat for each other as we were in a bit of state over certain things. I personally thought she was giving signs out that she was interested in me...
If she's 'confiding' in you more and more, it says to me (being a woman) that she's 'testing the water'... she's interested, but she's just a bit aprehensive about cutting her losses with the 'other' bloke just yet.
My advice would be to tell her... suggest taking it slow an have a few dates. Try some lingering looks romance always works a treat too... I've always been a sucker for a chilledout bar with quiet booths and nice music where you can have deep meaningful conversations... or maybe just a nice, small bunch of flowers. Nowt expensive... it's the thought and gesture that's romantic. She'll either jump on you, or tell you you've got the wrong idea. If it's the latter, then she really needs to sort out her signals! (and at least you know where you stand so you can get over it and find someone who will reciprocate your feelings.)
Mind you, I've only got what you've written to go by...
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Cheers all I suppose it is as obvious as I have described, but past experience tells me women (the ones I have known anyway) can be strange creatures and the signs are not always what they seem.
Now it's just trying to get together with her, we're both busy and finding time is difficult.......good things come to those who wait?
__________________ "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound sexy."
I'm only going of your avatar but...............maybe you should consider getting some fashion advice, that hat is crap And maybe see some sort of surgeon......your head is massive And don't even get me started on your dancin'.....
No seriously....I think kirsty is right. Suggest you take things slowly so she doesnt feel overwhelmed. Anyway good luck with it, hope it all works out
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I'm only going of your avatar but...............maybe you should consider getting some fashion advice, that hat is crap And maybe see some sort of surgeon......your head is massive And don't even get me started on your dancin'.....
No seriously....I think kirsty is right. Suggest you take things slowly so she doesnt feel overwhelmed. Anyway good luck with it, hope it all works out
The suit's fine, my head will sort itself out in time and I paid Bruce Forsyth for the dancing lessons
All we need to do now is get together, work and home life make it difficult to set up a date although she did promise she would meet me. I don't know whether to keep plugging away for a date or leave it to her to set it up so it doesn't seem like i'm desperate.
__________________ "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound sexy."
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All we need to do now is get together, work and home life make it difficult to set up a date although she did promise she would meet me. I don't know whether to keep plugging away for a date or leave it to her to set it up so it doesn't seem like i'm desperate.
Ask her once, then if she declines due to work commitments, tell her you'll wait for her to let you know when she's free then. That way you show you're keen, but you don't push it and put the ball in her court. If she hasn't contacted you within two weeks, then I'd forget about it, as she obviously isn't anticipating the next 'meeting' the same way you are. If she fancies you, she'll want to sort something out sooner, rather than later.
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I will wait until next week to try and set a date to meet up, she is away this weekend with her best friend. Here's hoping anyway as it's been a while since I have been with someone, without sounding like a cliche it's been a long time also since I have felt like this for someone
__________________ "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound sexy."
Inappropriate crush? Advice welcome. 
anyway I was wondering if anyone could suggest something or has been in a similar situation and could give a bit of advice?
And don't even get me started on your dancin'.....
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