Monster Raving Looney Party Policies...What Would Yours Be?
If you were the leader of The Monster Raving Looneys, what policies would you introduce?
Their current policies include
Wanting fish bred in a European wine lake so they could be caught ready pickled.
Giving pensioners heated toilet seats.
To extending the Channel Tunnel to Switzerland to give Britain tax haven status.
To turn all the butter mountains into ski slopes and produce an Olympic medalist at the next winter Olympics.
Following the recent 2 hour debate we held on defence at number 10, should we get into power we have agreed to make it 2 foot taller cos the dog would keep getting out of the garden.
We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.
Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.
We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.
Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
My first policies would include:
Introducing technology so you could count your chickens before they hatch.
To make it more interesting, only colour blind people can become professional snooker players.
To make watching marathons on TV more interesting, we will shoot the last placed runner on every mile mark.
Countdown contestants will all have to be dyslexic.
What would your policies be??????????????????
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make ferry boat casino,s include snooker and pool tables make everybody have two mouth,s so to make use of two hands holding drinks leave the rest to senior ministers cue r.hon mr. o. g.
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1 Make houses of parliament into worlds biggest McDonalds
2 Make house of lords into hotel for residents of Tenerife stay in free of charge when visiting UK
3 Make all classrooms round so no one has to stand in the corner
4 Double the charge on the severn crossings and change direction in which it is charged to stop all the illegal immigrants coming across the border from Wales.
5 Instead of bob a job week have a take a pensioner out for the day week
6 Anyone found not giving up there seat to elderly on public transport will be publicly flogged by derby and joan club members
7 People that abuse animals should be fed to the wild animals in all the safari parks (free food and more admissions )
8 People who let there animal mess up the pavements be made to live in a pig sty for 1 month
9 Make all overtime worked tax free
10 Make the worlds largest drive through Burger bar on the M25 to ease congestion or should that be indegestion.
Britain to join the Euro on condition it be renamed 'the pound'
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One of the policy's could be a compulsory 4 hours per day spent on the Tenerife forum ..
(but then again their may be enough Looneys here already present company accepted)
As you will have plenty of time on your hands with no worries about Police, National Health,Taxes,Education,climate or any of the other important issues the other political parties may have...
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outlaw politics
Outlaw politicians
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To quote Billy Connolly, 'The desire to be a politician should automatically preclude someone from becoming one'.
And my suggestion for the MRLP manifesto, to make Big Brother more interesting by introducing a different wild animal into the house once a week.
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Monster Raving Looney Party Policies...What Would Yours Be? 
make everybody have two mouth,s so to make use of two hands holding drinks
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