A few years ago (quite a few really), I was riding to work on my little Puch Maxi (for the uninformed, a 50cc moped which was so pathetic it even had pedals for going uphill). As I passed a junction I noticed there was a car approaching it which then pulled out directly behind me.
For a mile or more this car was desperately trying to overtake, as I was equally desperately trying to ride in a straight line in the gutter, whilst the extremely inconsiderate oncoming traffic simply didn't move out of the way, or stop, or go another route, specifically intending to wind up this driver behind.
When the gap eventually arrived (it wasn't London you see), wound up driver decided that he didn't actually need any space to overtake anyway, as he attempted to gently caress my handlebars with his wing mirror (well, not really gently).
Now, it wasn't really my fault he was stuck behind, and it was definitely Puch's fault that I couldn't go any faster of course, but this bloke with 40 feet of road width available to him decided to miss me by the proverbial gnats knacker. Coming within a nanometre (??) of a painful start to my day (at least), I had to give him full blast with my horn.
Remember when I said that the Puch Maxi has so little power that you have pedals to go uphill? Yeah? Well they didn't utilize any of that power in the horn either. It's a bit of a "
unghh" (not even enough for an exclamation mark). If you squeezed the gnats knacker, the gnat would have made more noise.
Anyway, superman with his super hearing (and the wind in the right directon)did manage to hear the squeek and slammed his anchors on right in front of me. Out he got, and I have to say wondered when he was going to finish getting out, an enormous (soon to be discovered Scot)
(edit: the point of mentioning that he was a Scot is they were kind of reknowned for the frequency of giving a 'Glasgow kiss') lumbered toward me with steam coming out of his ears and flames from his nostrils.
As a silently whispered prayers to the patron saint of crash helmets, and the government which made it compulsory to wear them, I decided it would be appropriate to keep mine on and keep my ears warm (well it was a bit breezy). He was a 20 stone brick outhouse, I'm not.
As his fists were clenching his face was turning red and his words kind of got lost in the spittle coming my way, I though it appropriate to mention that I'd attempted to give him room, the delay wasn't my fault and he'd unnecessarily cut close in when passing (quite the gambler don't you think?). Expecting something a bit more direct, I was therefore quite surprised to simply get a pointed finger somewhat close to my visor and a few choice words about how lucky I was not to get my head knocked off. As he climbed back in his car, I thought he might be right.
Now here I had been riding to work as usual, unfortunately and through no fault of my own blocking a driver from overtaking, who then almost knocked me off my moped, followed then by slamming his brakes on directly in front of me and topping it off with threats to knock my head off.
Revenge or let it go?
Well it just so happens, at this particular junction he joined the main road from, as a local I knew that he had to come from that particular estate. That evening I took a little walk. Maybe in that general drection. Maybe around a few streets until I actually found that very same car. As I put my hand in my pocket I happened to discover a few spare nails. I think I might have dropped a few. Actually I dropped one each pointing into his front tyres and one each pointing from the back in his back tyres. Forward or back, it mattered not. One spare tyre was not going to be enough.
Guess which way my vote goes?
From some of the comments, I therefore expect "some" will say I should have let it go. "Some" may even say I shouldn't have blown my horn. "Some" may think that I am lily-livered because I wouldn't face him.
Speak to the hand, coz the face don't care. I got revenge!!!
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