I am in a dilema and would like the opinions of people on this forum before I make my decision.
My ex has been in touch and offered to finally pay maintanence . The only thing is, it is a lot lower than he used to pay me 4 years ago. He will not pay any arrears and compared to what he earns we are talking about less than 5% of his earnings in payments for my daughters.
What do I do? Do I hold out for a bit more money, but take the risk of not getting any or do I accept his offer and have done with it?
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Have you got a lawyer? I would personally hold out if you can survive... He owes it to his daughters, not you. If the selfish bar-steward earns that much, he should help provide for the girls. It could go in their college fund...
Maybe if you are surviving without anyway, you could accept it but only on the condition that he puts and extra amount in an account for them to go towards their education when they reach a certain age that can only be monitored and not accessed by you, him or the kids. If you have bad relations with him, he may be being an idiot because he doesn't want to provide for you too... at least by giving this gesture, you are saying 'care for your kids... I'm not interested' and he might agree to that. After all, it's them that are ultimately his responsibility too.
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Have you got a lawyer? I would personally hold out if you can survive... He owes it to his daughters, not you. If the selfish bar-steward earns that much, he should help provide for the girls. It could go in their college fund...
Maybe if you are surviving without anyway, you could accept it but only on the condition that he puts and extra amount in an account for them to go towards their education when they reach a certain age that can only be monitored and not accessed by you, him or the kids. If you have bad relations with him, he may be being an idiot because he doesn't want to provide for you too... at least by giving this gesture, you are saying 'care for your kids... I'm not interested' and he might agree to that. After all, it's them that are ultimately his responsibility too.
Thanks for that, its a great idea. We are not in good relations at all and he doesnt seem to understand that they are his responsibilty too.
I just wish there was something in this country similar to the CSA that would help me to make him pay!!! I know the CSA are useless but they worked for me at times!
Location: Up a Mountain on the West Coast of Tenerife!
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My mum never got any maintenance from my dad for years... then she got 5 quid a week, which would have just about paid for my school dinners! She put it in an account for me and it mounted up for when I went off to uni.
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My mum never got any maintenance from my dad for years... then she got 5 quid a week, which would have just about paid for my school dinners! She put it in an account for me and it mounted up for when I went off to uni.
I am going to have a real think about what you put and throw it back at him for uni!!!! It will show whether he is reluctant to pay becuase he doesnt want to pay me as such or whether he is really as bad as I think he is!!!!
There is an old english law that says he only has to pay you a peice of silver which is 5p so be careful because any good lawyer worth his money will know this law.Best of luck
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I am in a dilema and would like the opinions of people on this forum before I make my decision.
My ex has been in touch and offered to finally pay maintanence . The only thing is, it is a lot lower than he used to pay me 4 years ago. He will not pay any arrears and compared to what he earns we are talking about less than 5% of his earnings in payments for my daughters.
What do I do? Do I hold out for a bit more money, but take the risk of not getting any or do I accept his offer and have done with it?
Call me old fashioned but in my opinion this is a private and personal matter not to be disscussed on a public forum
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Location: Scotland but in Tenerife as often as possible
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Originally Posted by leojohn
Call me old fashioned but in my opinion this is a private and personal matter not to be disscussed on a public forum
Its always good to get others opinions though and you never know some members on the forum may have been through the same thing and have some good advice on where to go from here on in
At the end of the day Gracey is not naming and shaming the said person just asking for advice on her situation
There is an old english law that says he only has to pay you a peice of silver which is 5p so be careful because any good lawyer worth his money will know this law.Best of luck
Its not going through lawyers, but thanks for the warning!
Quote:
Originally Posted by leojohn
Call me old fashioned but in my opinion this is a private and personal matter not to be disscussed on a public forum
Thanks for your opinion, I have kept the private and personal bits out and just wanted some advice, of which so far has been really helpful and not something I would have thought of.
So in my opinion, I did the right thing!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicky2723
Its always good to get others opinions though and you never know some members on the forum may have been through the same thing and have some good advice on where to go from here on in
At the end of the day Gracey is not naming and shaming the said person just asking for advice on her situation
You are so right and the help and advice I have had through PM's have been lovely and just the sort of help that I needed.
The question is why all of a sudden after 4 years ???
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