Location: Up a Mountain on the West Coast of Tenerife!
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Can I have one too?
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Please add our To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. to your bookmarks. Should this one ever go down, you'll still have a place to chat until it's back up again To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Certainly. But there's a strict limit of one per customer.
__________________ Michael
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this is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to walmart in arkansas.... they hired him cos he was so funny....
NAME kenneth way(grumpy *******) SEX not lately,but i am looking for the right woman(or at least one that will co-operate DESIRED POSITION company president or vice president. but seriously whatevers available.if i was in aposition to be picky , i wouldn,t be applying in the first place DESIRED SALARY 185000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz?? style severance package. if that,s not possible, make me an offer and we can haggle EDUCATION yes LAST POSITION HELD target for middle management hostility PREVIOUS SALARY a lot less than i,m worth MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENTmy incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes REASON FOR LEAVING it sucked HOURS AVAILABLE FOR WORK any PREFERRED HOURS 1.30-3.30pm monday, tuesday and thursday DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS yes but they are better suited to a more intimate environment MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER if i had one ,would i be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs? of what' DO YOU HAVE A CAR you mean a car that runs? HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY AWARDS OR RECOGNITION i may already be the winner of the publishers clearing house sweepstakes, so they tell me DO YOU SMOKE on the job--no! on my breaks ---yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN 5 YEARS living in the bahamas with a fabulously weathy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks i,m the greatest thing since sliced bread. actually i,d like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? oh yes, absolutely
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The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to imablue For This Useful Post:
Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours as long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was still considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he'd raise once again, but he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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Don't interrupt me when I'm ignoring you!
I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my bum.
I like the 7 deadly sins - it's a good check list!
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The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Mike in Chayofa For This Useful Post:
I need cheering up, can the happy hour turn on again please!!!
dear me where have you been? you,re 3 hours 10 minutes late!! oh i know that weddin, thingy
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This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It made the local newspaper; even Jay Leno mentioned it on his show.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family & to especially thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope. He stressed that this was his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his bride having sex with his best friend, the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said, "*--- you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "*--- you!"
Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the following morning. While most people would have cancelled the Wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge....making the bride' s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the bride's & his best man's reputations in front of 300+ friends & family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a Master Card "PRICELESS" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends: $32,000...
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000...
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500...
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping his best man:
oh i know that weddin, thingy
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