Help me to decide whether to go to my brothers wedding!
My brother and his partner of 16 years have decided to get married next Christmas.
The problem i have with that is, when i got married 11 years ago they didn't come to my wedding for no reason whats so ever, other than they couldn't be a****. They also didn't come to my daughters christening and holy communion, and snubbed my nieces 18th birthday meal..
My future sister in law mentioned all this last night, with the excuse that my brother doesn't like big do's (so why is he having one to get married then) and his partner siad to me he really wants you there (prob to make up the numbers) and she said they would love my daughter to be bridesmaid, i'm guessing they are pushing me in a corner here, if my daughter is bridesmaid then i have to go..
The thing is, i've never said anything about them snubbing my invites, but i was deeply hurt, and now it seems to me, now it's there turn to have a do, then i should go, but why should i, they snubbed mine.
Dont be as bad as them! Dont bring yourself down to their level. Be positive about it, go and have a great time. If your daughter would like to be bridesmaid then let her, but if she doesnt dont force her. Life is too short, enjoy!
sgd
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A very difficult one bg. I assume that you do not want to go, therefore don't. (I hope that this isn't a "You didn't come to mine - I'm not coming to yours type of thing) As for the possibility of your daughter being a bridesmaid, you don't have to be there, just be sure that she gets there, and collect her from the reception afterwards. I am sure that there will be other family members there to look after her. Having said that, if you decline the invitation, she may well not be asked to be bridesmaid.
You will have to look deep inside yourself to solve this one bg, and it will not be easy. I had a similar problem with my sister long ago. Now I ask myself "Who"? if anyone mentions her.
The first thing you have to do is that 'inner search', and start from there. I wish you well.
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Why not tell them how you feel, that you were hurt that they snubbed you. There could be reasons you haven't thought of. I would say talk first then make a decision, but hopefully you will decide to go. This could be their way of realising they did you wrong before and a chance to try and put things back on track. Deciding not to go and the possibility of your daughter missing out too , could make things worse in the long run.
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Life is too short to bicker,If you want to go go and have a great time dont be like them....
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My future sister in law mentioned all this last night, with the excuse that my brother doesn't like big do's (so why is he having one to get married then) (
It sounds like he really doesn't like "big do's " but then is being pushed into it. In practice, the bloke has absolutely no say in such things.
But go with your own instinct. Think how you might feel after the event. If you don't go, you will feel bad about it afterwards. If you do, either you will be pleased that you did, or if not, at least you tried.
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I agree with JAnot. It really sounds like he doesn't like big do's. I think you should go and enjoy yourself. Let your daughter be a bridesmaid etc and get drunk on their bar bill
BUT... If you were so hurt about them not being at your do's, you should TELL THEM. They might be blissfully unaware that it bothered you that much and they might understand if you tell them!
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Sorry to read what you brother has done Boro If it was me in your situation I would let your brother know how you feel before the wedding accept the invite and let your daughter be a bridesmaid I bet she would love it, pretty dress and all Don't stoop to his level cause perhaps he really doesn't like big do's and he is having this wedding to please his partner
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Go, its a simple as that, you can never gat back what has gone before.
Just like your Brother can't get back the opportunity to attend your wedding, if you don't go you can never get it back and may well regret it for the rest of your life.
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and you could always get your other half a mankini to wear to the do...
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