You can choose you friends but you can't choose you family!

Paulrock · 10th August 2007, 00:27

Me and my brother never got on with each other, right from when we where kids and more or less kept our selves to our selves.
When we grew up we both left home and went our separate ways. A good few years later he was getting married, so my mother who knew we did not get on told my brother he had to invite me.
So I was invited and asked if David could come also.
I was so shocked

when he said no. so I refused to go but my mother begged me to go. In the end I said yes

As a protest at not inviting David I wore shirt, tie , Suit jacket and ripped jeans so all of the family photos would me there with these ripped jeans.
I know now it was silly, but I was young and angry

Does anyone else have stories of you can't choose your family?

Jackie B · 10th August 2007, 00:43

Paul, don't even get me started on this or I will be writing an epic to rival the Las Chafiras lot

It would definately be a war film. Lets just say that we haven't spoken to the outlaws or my brother in law for about 9 years [we is hubby and I. Kids see them if they want to, which now we are living here will be never

The day we stopped having anything to do with them was the best day of my life. Have a wonderful sister in law though [I have to say that because my husband stays at hers while he is in the yUK]

no seriously she is good.

Do you get on with your brother now or is it something that is too hard to forgive.

You can't choose your family but you can choose to ignoe them

Paulrock · 10th August 2007, 00:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jackie B

Do you get on with your brother now or is it something that is too hard to forgive.

Thanks Jackie B,
The last time I spoke to my brother was 10 years ago at my dads 60th birthday and only because of my dad. It was a hello, how are you, and that was it.
I also have a sister, and we get on like a house on fire

graceylacey · 10th August 2007, 11:37

I have a sister that doesnt talk to any of my family. She fell out with my Mum and Dad and then stopped talking to my brother and I just because we stayed friends with our parents. Talk about childish!!!!!!!!!

We havent spoken for about 5years now

mac · 10th August 2007, 17:43

My sister has had nothing to do with the rest of the family for over 15years. when my father died and was cremated she wrote and asked me for HALF his ashes. I sent them as I had had him while he was alive and all she had was a handful of dust!!!!!

IREALLYAMLINDA · 10th August 2007, 23:15

When we first came here about 12 years or so ago, I used to write to my youngest brother about our new lives. I got a letter from him one day telling me to stop writing rosy pictures to him and tell him like it really is. At the time I was sitting on a beach with with my daughter, a cold can of beer (yes - me drinking beer!!!), the kids were playing in the sand, there were parrots in the palm trees above us and I said to my daughter - how do I talk about what we are doing today without writing a rosy picture? He hasn't spoken to me since. And he doesnt speak to my other brother either because he doesn't like his wife? Me and my other brother are great friends and so are our respective spouses.

Paulrock · 11th August 2007, 01:06

Thank you those who have posted so far

I know it takes a lot of guts to post your family history on here and to that I

I did not start this thread to be sad or to rake up any old wounds for anyone, but just to say life is life,
I think alot of people have a skeleton in their closet
(big or small) So its just a thread to release a bit of built up emotion and get it off your chest! Or are you totally over it and couldn't give a rats behind about it?

OR have you found a friend that you wish you hadn't?

hopper · 11th August 2007, 12:31

My wife has 3 brothers and 2 sisters, 6 of them in total, the family is split straight down the middle with 3 not talking to 3, its crazy (but I understand why - well from our point of view

)

The why's and wherefore's are for them but it's ruined lives and left people 'broken' by what's gone/going on and from a family that was once so close.

Its sad and from what I can see, the only reason is pride and stubbonness. No one has physically harmend anyone, no one has ripped onyone off, its all down to ego's and a basic inablility to accept that others can have a difference of opinion. That's the saddest part.

Why do members of families allow others from outside to interact in a 'normal' mannor when they are unable to extend that same couresy to their own reletives?

lundi2407 · 13th August 2007, 13:09

Oh lordy how I can relate to this thread....

I have not currently (and do not ever expect I will again) spoken to my mother, brother and sister in over 3 years

.

It all seems to be over nothing. I had at one point not spoken to my Dad in over 12 years, all over my stubborness and pride. But to cut a long story short I contacted him again and we are now closer than ever before.

I used to have a great relationship with my mother, brother & sister. My sister was on her honeymoon in Cyprus and we were on holiday at the time in Cyprus. It turned out she was staying in a dreadful (to put it politely) so my hubby and I arranged it so she could stay with us at our hotel.. we all had a great time.
I am not only an auntie to my brothers son I am also his godmother...

When I met my hubby (5 years ago) they all were happy for us. Hubby and I were childhood sweethearts and met again. But all that changed when we had a holiday in Vegas and married while we were there..
When we returned we decided to have a party for all our friends and family. My mother, brother and sister all refused to come.

At the time this hurt me very much.. but now I am of the opinion that if they want to act like children then so be it.
We are now in the process of relocating to the reef.. they know this but have not even bothered to call.. (they all live within 5 min walking distance of my house)

Oh well I see it that it is their loss... I have a wonderful hubby and a great life..

Like the title says "you can choose your friends etc" ... I wish you could choose your family but I am as sure as hell I would NEVER have picked mine....!!!

boro gal · 13th August 2007, 13:34

my hubbys mother could never take to our daughter, right from the minute she was born, it took her 6 weeks to come and see the baby...

When we used to visit her house she could barely look at the baby,so in the end i stopped visiting with the baby, although hubby still went to see her, she never once asked about her grandchild....

We have not seen her for 10 years now, (not long enough) good riddance to bad rubbish..